Doomguides

Of Dreams, Divine Guidance, and Shoes

2010-04-19T14:31:03Z

A few days ago, I had a Dream. I'm not talking about a dream - you know, those nightly forays into garbage-collection your brain indulges in when not dealing with the normal routine of daily life. I'm talking about a Dream. A Dream is when you get messages, whether divinely inspired, precognitive, or whatever, that convey some important meaning. For instance, the Dream that warns you against getting on a train, just before the train you were scheduled to get on plows into a truck full of explosives, or the Dream that gives you a message from your grandmother, who had just died an hour earlier, on another continent, while you were sleeping, so you had yet to receive any notification of it (or, for that matter, any notification that your grandmother was in anything other than perfect health).

In my Dream, I was walking through a field with a friend - who it was, I didn't know even in the dream - when I was shot. The arrow hit me in the shoulder, but that was only because Ra had flown down and spoiled the aim of the shooter, a woman who had been aiming for my heart.

While the arrow was removed from my shoulder, Ra looked me in the eyes (and let me tell you, having a bird of prey look you dead in the eyes is damned disconcerting) and asked me, "What are you?"

I answered, "I'm a shoe salesman."

Ra kept looking at me and shot back, "So why aren't you doing it?"

When I woke up, the dream kept eating at me. Why aren't I doing it? Why aren't I doing what? Being a shoe salesman? What is that supposed to mean, anyway? No one ever accused me of being quick on the uptake - at least, not that I know of - but it felt like I should know what Ra was talking about. Then it finally hit me. As a priest, I'm in the job of selling shoes. Spiritual shoes, yes, but still, the point is that I'm supposed to be outfitting people to get on with their lives, to armor them against the hardships they face out in the real world, so they can get out there and do the things they need to do. And I just haven't been doing that very well.

Whatever the excuse - I've been sick, I've been too tired to get out, I don't have the inspiration to write, whatever - the fact is, I've been falling down on the job. When it gets so obvious that I get reminded of that fact in a Dream, it's obviously time for me to wake up and take stock of what I'm doing with my vocation.

In many ways, it's easier to do this job when part of an active community, because a lot of your life is ruled by the need to serve that community. Be up in time to do sunrise service for those who have loved ones to commemorate, work through the day on caring for those in the community, do sunset service with the active members of the faith, spend the evening preparing for the next day, rinse, repeat.

When your day is ruled by the service you do, it's easier to stay focused, and perform the duties your god expects of you. When you're alone, serving your god as an individual, it becomes so much easier to think to yourself "I'll just sleep in this morning, He won't mind if I do my morning prayers later" or, "I can't interrupt my friend just for sunset prayers. I can do them later" or even, "I feel like crap today. He won't want to hear my prayers when I'm feeling so cranky and out of sorts."

When you're a shoe salesman, you don't get to choose whether to sell shoes, or who to sell them to. Whether it's the nice old lady with twenty cats, or the punk with enough metal in his face to make a metal detector melt down, my job is to provide them with the best possible shoes for their needs. Sometimes I'll have just the right shoes, sometimes I'll have to refer them to someone else. But if I'm doing my job the way I'm supposed to, every one of them is going to go away with the shoes they need. Will I always be successful? I seriously doubt that. But if I'm working to the best of my ability, and focusing on the service I'm supposed to be providing, then I'll be able to look at my Lord at the end of the day and be honestly proud of the service I've given.

Midwinter (The End of the Year)

2009-12-31T08:36:29Z

As one year ends, and we prepare for the next to begin, it is time to look back and see who has passed on during the last year. Fortunately, we can find a list of notable people who died during 2009, here. As you can see, not everyone's story has been told. It would be good, for the dead and for those who remain, to tell the stories of those who have passed on. If you knew one of those on that list, tell their story. If you have someone who was important to you, who passed on during the past year, tell their story at our Virtual Cenotaph. Everyone deserves to have their story told, and by telling those stories, you are honoring them and their memory. Doing this will help open the way to the new year, so that you can enter it with mind and heart clear.

Feast of the Moon (Traditional)

2009-12-01T21:42:28Z

Yesterday was the traditional date for the Feast of the Moon. Since the weather prevented me from going to the cemetery as I did at the beginning of the month, I was forced to stay home and meditate on what this holiday means.

On the Feast of the Moon, we remember our honored ancestors. Traditionally, this means that the priest recites the names of those within his parish who have died during the previous year, along with a record of their deeds in life. This is followed by a feast in memory of those who have died. Specific prayers on behalf of the dead, or of their loved ones who survive them, are also appropriate on this day.

Given that I have not had any deaths to recognize this year, I meditated on those who have brought me to where I am, and on the faith that I have gained as I focus on my Lord. It is good to know that, no matter who you worship, no matter what your faith, in the end, we all go through the same passage, before moving on to whatever destination our individual faiths lead us to.

Theology, Faith, and the Church of Kelemvor

2009-11-05T11:37:49Z

Part One: On Gods and Mythical Reality

In order to discuss Gods, we have to make a distinction between mythical reality and historical/scientific reality.

Mythical reality is the universe as seen through a mythological lens. That is, a view of the universe that emphasizes the spiritual nature of mankind, and the connection between that spiritual nature and the surrounding universe. In mythical reality, YHVH speaks to a goat herder through a burning bush, Thor creates lightning when he battles giants, and Coyote teaches the rules of civilization by breaking them.

Mythical reality is not historical/scientific reality. Historical/scientific reality is that which can be found in real, physical measurements and analysis of the world around us. It has nothing to do with man's spiritual nature, any more than man's spiritual nature has to do with the number of atoms in a gram of carbon or the number of vibrations a piano wire makes when tuned to Middle C. Using one to measure - or define - the other is not only pointless, it's practically the definition of foolishness.

Gods are beings of mythical reality. They are created and sustained by our belief, and their reality and power is a consequence of that belief. That reality and power is what allows us to worship them, and allows us to experience them in return. Jesus of Nazareth is real, and has power, not because of any claimed historical existence, but because of the millions of people who have worshiped him over the last two thousand years, and who currently worship him. For the same reason, Odin, Wesir, Zeus, Shiva, Papa Legba and Amaterasu are real, and have power.

And then there are the new Gods. Because Gods are beings of mythical reality, and their existence is due to human belief, entirely new pantheons of Gods have appeared in recent years. For the most part, the belief in those Gods has been minor, even inconsequential, and usually dismissed as being a part of the "willing suspension of disbelief" that goes with a good book or movie.

The problem with that dismissal is that in mythical reality, belief always has consequences. Even when the belief is casual, for the purpose of enjoying an author's creation, or joining in a shared storytelling experience, the very nature of belief is that it creates what is believed in. The more belief is devoted to something, the more real that something becomes. Unfortunately, that means that, by now, Cthulhu is just as real as Oghma, and occupies his own corner of mythical reality, right next to all the other eldritch horrors mankind has dredged up over the last four million years.

This is where we come in. Kelemvor Lyonsbane, now known simply as Kelemvor, is the Lord of the Dead, in the Faerûnian pantheon of the Forgotten Realms campaign setting for Dungeons & Dragons. He was introduced to the world in the "Avatar" books, a series of books that followed the effects of the "Time of Troubles" and its aftermath, both on the people and the Gods of Toril.

Kelemvor is one of three new Gods introduced in the "Avatar" books. Mystra, Goddess of Magic, and Cyric, God of Strife, were also elevated to Godhood as a result of the events of those books. Of the three, Mystra is unique in that the mortal who became Mystra chose to change her name to that of the previous holder of the title, rather than keep her own name. This turns out to be a good thing, because it means that the belief that had been associated with the name of Mystra now applies to the new holder of the office, as it did to the previous Mystra.

It turns out the right-wing Christian crusaders are at least partially right in their assessment of D&D. They just put the wrong emphasis on it, and take it in the wrong direction. D&D, like every other work of fantasy, from Star Wars to the Wheel of Time, opens its participants to the same mythical reality that Christian prayer or Pagan ritual does. This means that every time someone reads a book, or plays a game, in which Gods are an integral part of the story, their belief adds to the mythical currents that support those Gods, thereby adding to their reality and power.

Given that, historically and anthropologically, Gods are recognized as real with as few as a few dozen believers, consider the effect of thousands, if not millions, of people who subscribe, however briefly, to belief in a God, or several Gods. Just as people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter add to the power of Christianity, so people who only call on Mielikki when playing a ranger in their weekly D&D game add as much to Her power as did the average Finn of 1000 years ago.

There are those who protest that only God, the Creator of the Universe, is worthy of worship, and that all other Gods are false and evil. Obviously, there are some problems with this claim, right from the start:

Which Creator of the Universe do you choose? There are several Gods who claim the title, from Amun to Odin to Kamui to Ao. Obviously, which Creator you choose depends on which religion you believe in.
If there is only one God, and all other Gods are false and evil, how do you account for the good done by Gods other than your particular chosen "one God", and the power of those Gods?
How do you account for the fact that the majority of Creator Gods are members of polytheistic pantheons, or are Gods of religions that believe that the Creator doesn't deal with mortals, instead leaving the day-to-day affairs of the universe to one or more lesser Gods or helper spirits?

We recognize that Gods - all Gods - are beings of the mythical reality, and so are all equally creatures of belief. Whether a God is worshiped is not a measure of its reality, as worship and belief are not the same. Worship is an expression of, and a means of focusing and amplifying belief, but it, of itself, is not belief. Throughout human history, there have been mythical beings that were not worshiped, but the belief in them was strong enough to ensure their existence in mythical reality. Some of those beings were, and are, placated, rather than being worshiped, and some are openly and actively cursed by those who worship Gods that are seen as their enemies. Even those curses are expressions of belief, and so add to the power and presence of those beings. Some of the beings that gain from the belief of those who curse them include Satan, Ahriman, Cyric, and Apep.

Whether light or dark, positive or negative, good or evil, the primary force in mythical reality is belief, and it is belief that gives us our Gods, as well as all the other beings that populate the mythical world.

On Moonfest, and Prayers for the Dead

2009-11-02T03:00:00Z

Due to the weather, I was forced to postpone my cemetery visit from yesterday to today. It was worth the wait.

The nearest accessible cemetery is in Brattleboro, Vermont, on top of a hill overlooking the Connecticut River. The cemetery has been there since at least 1830 (and most likely earlier - that was just the earliest date I could clearly read off a marker), with graves that cover an area of at least ten acres on top of the hill, and running down the slope facing the river for at least three tiers.

Some of the history represented there, just in the names I was able to decipher, shows how much we miss when we don't pay attention to our dead. For instance, I had never known about the Steamboat Greenfield explosion of May 18, 1840, until I saw the marker for Mr. Wood, the boat's engineer. I found entire families laid to rest together, some sharing a single marker for all of them, some with individual markers, some with a combination: a family monument, with a smaller stone giving name and date that showed where each member was within the family plot. I also found many people buried alone, without any relatives or loved ones nearby.

Saddest of all, though, were the stones that had uprooted, broken off, or simply fallen off their bases, and were simply laying there, some of them long enough that grass had partially grown over them. The city doesn't care enough about the graves to reset the stones - all that matters is ensuring that the lawn mower can travel between them. In fact, the person I encountered who had driven an hour to view the stones cared more about them than the city seems to care, and he was viewing them as a tourist, not as one of the Silent Shroud would. Regardless, the state of the cemetery made it clear that Kelemvor's teachings are needed, as the whole place gave off an aura of being cared for in the most superficial way possible.

That pretty much covers my initial impressions, so the rest of this post will hopefully be more uplifting.

Once I had finished walking the cemetery and noting the names and dates I could decipher, and once I had traced the family connections I was able to find in those that were there, I trusted Kelemvor to guide me to the spot that would allow me to bless as much of the cemetery in one go as I could. That, He did. The spot was an intersection of three drives, and right in the middle of the intersection, in a little raised triangle of ground where the three drives came together, was a piece of granite that had been placed on its side, like a small altar. It was obvious that this was where He wanted me to pray.

While I was praying, the sadness I felt, coming from all those abandoned and unremembered graves, wasn't overwhelming - it was, rather, tempered by a sense of resignation, as if it was expected that the living would forget the dead. At the same time, there was a sense of peace that came over the cemetery, as if a simple blessing was enough to ease the passing of those who hadn't gone yet.

How many were still there? I don't know. What I do know is that, for the Church of Kelemvor's first Feast of the Moon, the result was a greater connection with local history, and a greater sense of peace in one cemetery, at least. It's a start. I continue to pray that it grows until we can accomplish the goal of the church: that no one dies alone.

The Feast of the Moon

2009-10-26T21:47:10Z

Image by spacepleb via Flickr

Every culture has its festival that celebrates the dead, honored ancestors, and the spirits that dwell in the afterlife. In Japan, there is the Bon Festival. In Korea, there is Chuseok. In China, there is the Qingming Festival. In Nepal, there is Gaijatra. To Pagans, Samhain is that holiday. The Asatruar honor the dead in two holidays: Walpurgis Night and the Feast of the Einherjar. In Western society, All Saints Day and All Souls Day occur together, and are surrounded and expanded upon by Halloween and Dia de los Muertos. Even players of World of Warcraft celebrate Hallow's End.

In our faith, the Feast of the Moon celebrates our honored dead, our ancestors, and all those who have passed on. We celebrate this festival from October 31 through November 2. Traditionally, according to the Calendar of Harptos, the Feast of the Moon would be celebrated on November 30, and would be celebrated by all faiths. In the future, if the other Gods of Faerûn gain a following in this world, our celebration may return to the traditional date, but for now, we choose to celebrate at a time when, due to the combined celebrations of millions of others, this world is closest to the other side, and the dead can most easily be honored.

As a new religion, we have not accumulated the generations of tradition that guide older religions in the celebration of this (and other) holidays, but we do have guidelines for celebration that give us a good place to start.

In our faith, the most important part of this celebration is the relating of the stories of our dead. Each family tells the stories of their loved ones who have passed on, as well as stories of any notable ancestors. Our priests relate the stories of any members of their congregations who have died in the last year, who do not have family members to tell their stories for them.
Another practice is visiting the graves of the dead, to ritually remember them with offerings, stories, conversation, and picnics. A visit to the grave during this festival is a solemn obligation.
This is the holiday at which conversations with the dead occur. Priests will speak with those on the other side who can offer insight into difficulties that their congregation may be facing, and will help any members of the congregation who do not know how to communicate with the dead.

Image via Wikipedia

We don't have any objections to the usual practices of Halloween. In fact, I personally enjoy giving out treats when the Trick-or-Treat mobs come to my door, and I love decorating my house in its Halloween best. And as for horror movies? Don't let me get started on those! Celebrating along with the rest of the world is a good way to get in the spirit of the holiday. Share the good times with your family and friends, and give to those around you, whether it's by giving out candy at your door, giving something extra to your favorite charity, or going to the cemetery to place flowers on the graves of Revolutionary War veterans.

Whatever you do to prepare for the holiday, remember that the dead deserve your honor, and that the honor you give them reflects upon your own. The Feast of the Moon is a time to reflect and reconnect with your past, with those who made the world what it is now. It's a time for families to come together, the living and the dead, and rediscover their unity. Immerse yourself in the spirit of the festival, and you will find that it stays with you into the coming year.

And So It Begins

2009-10-22T20:47:21Z

Today, I turn 48. I have been following Kelemvor for some time now, privately following His guidance and doing what I can to serve Him in my own corner of the world. For some time, though, I have been feeling His presence, urging me to do more, until I could no longer resist His call. And so, as my birthday present to the world, I have done as my Lord asked, and created His Church.

It's funny, in a way. I've always joked about hating Dreams and Calls, probably because I know that once that Call comes, you can fight it, you can resist it, but in the end, you'll either obey, or prove - to yourself and to your god - that you were False.

I remember the Nisut (Life, Health, and Strength be upon her) once saying that She had to be dragged into accepting Her Office, and thinking I understood what she was talking about. If only I had realized then what I know now, I wouldn't have made that mistake. The sheer weight of the responsibility is awful, in the classical sense of the word: so great as to inspire an overwhelming sense of awe.

Kelemvor Chose me. When I stop to think about it, I feel as if my world is both shrinking and expanding at the same time. He Chose me. A God that most people believe is nothing more than the creation of a fantasy writer's imagination, and he Chose me. The very idea He exists, and that, existing, He would Choose me, a man who is crippled both physically and emotionally, to establish a Church that is dedicated to easing the fears and pain of those at the threshold of Death, makes me stop in my tracks and wonder what He could possibly see in me.

Maybe that's it. Maybe it's that very wonder that He sees. He gives me the strength to go on, to do His work, while I wonder why He would pay attention to someone as insignificant as me. And when I wonder things like that, I can sometimes swear I hear Him laughing.

But here I am, rambling, when I should be talking about the Church, about Kelemvor, and about the Mission He has tasked me with. Since you have probably already skimmed the web site, you know what Kelemvor teaches, and what He requires of His servants. Even in its incomplete state, the basics of Kelemvor's teachings are there. Now, it's time to step out in faith, believing that He will guide as surely as He Called, and that He will lead His Church in the way it should go.

I have to believe that, because I am just a man, and all I can do is what my Lord asks of me.